Right now, what I really need is someone to listen patiently to me. Listen to my cries of confusion. Lend me his/her shoulder. To cry on. And then let me hug him/her until I feel secure enough to let go and stand on my own again. That's what I need the most. A person understands and knows what I'm talking about. And be kind enough to give me a long hug in return.

I'm not being demanding, am I? 'Cos that really is what I need the most at this moment. I'm always there if anyone wants those things of me, but so far no one has ever been there for me. Right now when I need it, no one is here for me.

I really do have no real friends to seek for, do I?

I can't be like how I've always been anymore. I used to be able to shoulder my own problems, hold myself steady on my own, and walk on...but now I'm tired of having no one to hold on to. Tired of having to support myself. I can't stand this any longer; I wish to have someone by my side to comfort me, help me up and guide me on. But no one will ever do that for me. So I'm lost.

I do have someone particular in mind to shout out to, but he's...I have no right to ask him, 'cos...I dunno. He's not exactly my friend, but he can help me. He is capable of giving me what I need now. Even so, no matter how much he might care for me, I can't call on him...So then again. No one for me to turn to.

I'm always the one giving my all in a friendship. I'm always the one willing to make sacrifices just to make my friends smile. But I'm also always the one who receives nothing in return. I smile so that they can smile with me. But I've never smiled because they move me so. Never because I truly feel happy inside. It's always for others that I smile. Never for myself.

It's true. I'm a loner.