Sometimes I get too high on rhyming that I think I may start to make riddles out of my poems.

I've been a big fan of Wen Hui's blog, thanks to all the poems and interesting anecdotes of his life. Haha. I've yet to read every single one of his posts as I said I would. The path of his life always leave his blog readers curious to know more, and await his next post. Well, Ai here reads his blog whenever she reads her own. The truthful poems are way too much for a hard-core dilettante like me. ^o^

Anyways...my plan for today is to print out all the lecture notes (a.k.a. ppt slides) for all my modules. I can't stand technology at times..especially since it has cost me my perfect eyesight that I've maintained for 15 years. So I shan't read lecture notes off the comp; I read too much off the comp already. Enough to cost me another $100+ to make another pair of spectacles with a way-higher degree.

The holidays are gonna come to an end soon...well, I can say I've taken quite an advantage of it. Rest to the full, recharge, and be raring to start being studious once school reopens. Whee!!

I wonder what's up for Primer 3...Primer 1 and 2 have been, uh, haha, lousy. Could have done with a better management of accounts and time.

Yesterday on my way home I suddenly thought of the song "Too Serious Too Soon" by Gareth Gates while in the midst of thinking up the lines for a poem I'd wanted to SMS to Calvin. A poem which, after completing and sending it to him, I extracted the structure and made another one for one of my best friends, Ryann. Still, till now, I ponder over why there are actually people in my life who bother to bother about me. Ever so selfless. Sure, I can do that too, but why would anyone want to bother about insignificant and useless me? It's different from when I care for others; I've made it clear, I don't care for my friends, I love them.

Sigh..Ai am confused...

But Ai am happy! Happy to know that I'm getting back what I give. Unlike in the past. Maybe because I was fake in the past, so whatever I gave, I never received anything in return. Not that I ask for anything in return, its just that I'd like to know if my efforts have gone appreciated. Otherwise, not that I'll regret having been so kind, but I'll reproach myself as to why I'm so useless. And I hate reproaching 'cos I do that too often, and its tiring.

Thank you for being there, thank you for caring, thank you for everything. This goes out to everyone. To the special few, thank you for understanding me. For taking time off your own life to reshuffle and make better mine, even if you did it without intending to.

I realise I'm more emotional when I'm alone. Once I'm with people, my guard gets up, my wall shields all that I really feel. Do I hold back too much? Or am I just too self-conscious? But why so if I wallow deep into my feelings whenever I'm alone? Again, Aishah the paradox.
I think you may say I enjoy time being alone, yet at the same time I treasure time that I get to spend with the people around me. Truly..I'm a walking example of an irony...

I'm in the mood to dress up in a black/dark blue/gold kimono and hair be done up but falling, face pure white with deep red lipstick and dark purple/blue eye shadows. Haha. Don't ask me why. I just feel like being an exquisite geisha for a bit. :)