It was rare, but yeah I watched Ai Yori Aoshi yesterday. And...today I'm stark obsessed listening to its opening song, Towa no Hana.

Here's the translated version of Towa no Hana (Ai Yori Aoshi op) [taken from Animelyrics.com]:

The seasons move on, leaving
The scent of the flowers blooming pale
The rain has stopped too, clouds in the sky
Are blown gently by the blue breeze

Both today and tomorrow
Alongside the times we walk
Our trembling thoughts will be there
Unchanging

Forever Forever
It blooms but never dies
The pounding of my heart never ceases
More than anyone, More than anyone
I gaze at you
With this feeling that never ends

That day, when we met
How many times in the world
has a miracle like this happened?
Whom shall I thank?

Ah, I know your future
will be perfect for me
There will be nights when I can't say it
Although I may cry

Forever Forever
It may pass, but it will not fade
In the wind, under the sky, I wait
If I believe If I believe
Then your smile

Forever Forever
It blooms but never dies
The pounding of my heart never ceases
More than anyone, More than anyone
I gaze at you
With this never ending feeling

And the tune! Oh so sweet! Its not kind of diabetic-sweet, but sweet-romance kind of sweet. Know what I mean? The lyrics are incredibly...sweet. Goodness me. I really just don't know what other word there could be to describe this song.

Ah, today..just now, actually...my sis told me to carry the huge box of rags and place it on top of my wardrobe, where it was from originally. So I lifted that thing, stood on the edge of my bed (my bed is less than 50cm away from my wardrobe), and tried lifting it higher, high enough for me to push it over the top of that 7-yr-old wardrobe of mine. BUT, I haven't consumed a single thing since Friday evening. I simply had no energy. No matter how hard I try to push it higher, I just couldn't reach. Which is ridiculous. I was the one to bring down that same box from that same place last week. Initially I started laughing at myself; like, "This is incredulous. I don't have enough stored energy left to even just lift this thing?"

Then I just kept on trying. But I just couldn't reach it. Still laughing, I told my sis, "I just can't do it..". She laughed and kept telling me that I could reach it. But I couldn't. While (unendlessly still)laughing, I just suddenly broke down. As if my brain and heart and soul all told me I'm just too weak, and all 3 can't accept that fact. I just let go of the box from where I was standing (on my bed), dropped my body onto my bed and just cried into my mattress, even then still, still laughing.

Something in me just snapped at that point when after I said that I couldn't do it. I just stopped trying, although still laughing, I simply broke down. Why is it that simple things like this can make me cry? I kept on laughing at myself, thinking its ridiculous that I could be that weak, and I cried, knowing that I *am* indeed that weak, but I can't accept it.

Its just so...confusing.