Today's the 14th yet again. The twelfth 14th that means so much to me, the eleventh 14th from the first one.

It has been eleven months, yes. 29 days to Calvin's 18th birthday, 30 days to our 1st-year anniversary together. Somehow today I've been staring at him a lot, as if I've got a childish crush on him. Except, the feeling of anxiety to do a maiden proclamation my love for him ain't really there. But just today, it felt as if this guy is someone new for me to know. Its not a bad thing, really. I mean, like everything started all over again, I'm new to him, and as if we've just started out, we haven't had any disagreements or problems, and everything feeling so pure and bliss. Somehow, I felt like I'm back at 15th May 2006, that Monday morning, when we saw each other for the 1st time after agreeing to be together.

Sorry for all the numbers and my mushy-ness, but because I'm not feeling well right now (running a fever and sorethroat), I'm quite delirious and insist on blogging about my 11th mon-versary, that's today.

Today was TKGS's Speech day, BE Club's post-FOCamp outing, a Saturday, and I thought that I could never be happier to forgo the 2 important events to be with my beloved. He's *still* unwell, by the way, and just after getting home just now, I realised that I'm feeling unwell too XD Okay, so today, after hours of deliberating on what to wear, I got around to wearing what I'd already ironed and planned to wear to go out with my pals Jer and Rai some time back. Set off for Balestier, met up with him near his place just after his Cappoeira class, he got himself a shower, took his fever+cough+phlegm+antibiotic medication, and we went off to nearby Novena Square's Fish & Co. The destination for our date wasn't planned at all; it was impromptu. It was nice that the place was so open and there were very few diners there with us. Got meself Grilled Salmon w/chips and Ginger Ale, and he got the simple Fish & Chips with complete meal (i.e. w/Passion Fruit drink and Soup of the Day). But he felt unwell while eating, so as soon as I was done with mine, we paid for the bill and got him home to rest. He developed a headache on top of his fever. All I could do was accompany him while he's resting. That I did. I really couldn't bring myself to leave his place when it was time for me to get back home; I wish I could just stay and take care of him and wake him up tomorrow, feeling for myself if he's better already or not. Alas, that I could not do. My dearest walked me to the door, I went home on my own, in the rain. I couldn't imagine walking in the rain with my umbrella while wearing those ladies' sandals. All the way home; walk to bus stop, bus to Lavender, walk to MRT station, train to Bedok, walk to bus interchange, bus to home, walk to my block... NO WAY. So I took a cab home, even though I'd told him I wouldn't. I'm sorry, anata. I couldn't help it. I was already really late to get home (I know its my fault) and I wasn't about to risk slipping in the rain in those sandals.

I got home, prayed, realised I'm running a fever and got a sorethroat. Nice. Now we're *both* ill. I just called him a few minutes back; he said he's feeling better. That's really great news to me. You know, I've been so very sad that he's unwell for so long. And I mean sad literally. I cried a couple of times just because I was with him and he was still coughing and all. I can't hug him tight like always, I can't kiss him without a worry that his cough might act up. And his body temperature felt warm; too warm for my liking. I've been feeling down these days due to his un-well-being. I really wish he will get well very very soon. Its all in disciplining himself to get the proper rest that he needs..

But, on my way home, in the cab, I wrote him a 4-page sms. And for the 1st time in asagawa-xanax's history, I'll type out my private sms here for everyone to see:

So many times today
I find myself staring at you
Its not your being obnoxious
But your self, your looks
your form, your attitude
your voice, your words
your heart, your love
Somehow I kept getting
entranced by you
Over and over, repeatedly
as if you're always so new
Not even once today did I worry
Of how long we'd last
That we've come this far
I'm truly grateful to still be yours
My affections for you keeps renewing itself
I love you no less now than
the last time I felt so attached to you
And it'll not die down, anata

I'm always in love with you, Calvin.