I know I told you not to worry, even in my final call before you left for Brunei, but there remain causes to worry over, whether you worry or not. At least I'm worried. Why do I seem to be stuck in a time bomb when it comes to the matter of my kidneys? Why is there no cure? Why am I restricted as to the kind of activities I would love to do? Why is End Stage Renal Failure a definite imminent future for me? Even without you around, I worry myself sick over this matter. I want to be healthy for you, but in these moments of helpless hopelessness, I understand why you say that you will always think of me as 'the sickly Aishah' instead of 'the loving girlfriend', 'the one who gave me an iPod Touch twice' or even 'the one I broke up with once before'.

If dying and coming back to life in a clean healthy state is possible, like in games where you could reset skill points, I would do it for you. I really would.